![]() As Blair tries to get it on with Nate again, he apathetically tells us by way of flashback that he and Serena slept together. Apparently this behavior is as normal as a 75 year old ordering a dry martini in the middle of the afternoon. He forces himself on her and she punches him in the dick. He lures Serena into the vacant bar kitchen with promises of grilled cheese, which, girl, I get it. After Blair leaves, Chuck appears in all his soft spoken, misogynistic glory. They kiss and makeup, but they don’t actually kiss because lesbianism is something we are saving for later seasons. I’ll give the bartenders a pass though, since both actresses are just shy of 30. That night, Blair and Serena get martinis at a bar that serves alcohol to 75-year-olds. But honestly, his haircut was already saying everything we need to know. Chuck says something rape-y so that we are not thrown off when he attempts to rape two different main characters later on in the episode. ![]() Meanwhile, Nate is white boy whining to Chuck about how hard it is to be rich and have a hot girlfriend who wants to have sex all the time. Or maybe the director really wanted to film Blake Lively putting a spoon in her mouth. I believe the yogurt symbolizes Serena’s vulnerability in this moment. Blair specifically tells Serena she is NOT invited to her party, while Serena innocently scrapes at a cup of low-fat yogurt. The two minorities get to share all of their lines, speaking at once like Greek Oracles that shop exclusively at Claire’s. Moving on from the Loft of Judgement, we find Blair and her minions, who are the only two people of color on the show, on the steps of the MET. Jenny whines about a party Blair is throwing. Dan pines after Serena in a way that is made exponentially more creepy if you’ve watched ‘You’ on Netflix, in which Pen Badgley (Dan) plays a stalker. Here we can see how poor they are in their giant poor person loft with its wall-to-wall sliding doors and beautiful crushed velvet couch. Back in Brooklyn, we’re back with Dan, Jenny, Rufus and Rufus’s leather corded necklace. But I’m going to have to side with Lily on this one…what is her mom supposed to say, Serena? “My son isn’t around to play Ultimate Frisbee with your son right now because he tried to kill himself, Karen.” It’s not really lavish day time party topic of conversation SERENA. Serena accuses her mom of hiding her brother Eric away and lying about his true whereabouts with a vague ‘vacation’ excuse. Next, we see what mystery ‘him’ Serena was alluding to, and it’s her little brother secluded in a rehab center nicer than my apartment, with the tell-tale white wrist bandage of soap opera suicide attempt. Blair and Serena have a frenemy ice off, but we’re quickly shuttled off to the next scene before more than one passive aggressive insult can be tossed. Their Pg-73 make out is interrupted by news of Serena downstairs. Always have always will.’ As we all know, nothing gets teenager boys hotter than declarations of commitment. Hoping to get him the mood to deflower each other, she says to him, ‘Love you. Serena cryptically asks her mom where ‘he’ is, but who cares about that because Blair is upstairs getting down and dirty with Nate. Serena’s first stop is to visit her mom, located at a fancy daytime party thrown by Blair’s mother, Eleanor. She politely poses at the top of the staircase so that everyone in NY can take a picture of her and send it to Gossip Girl. We open on Grand Central Station where Serena has just arrived from a stint at Boarding School. Which makes sense since the depth of his emotional maturity could fit inside of a thimble. Their dad and looks to be about the same age as everyone else. Nate’s best friend and rocking a haircut that Julius Caesar would wear if his hairdresser was from 2007. Dumb as a bag of really good looking rocks with terrible haircuts. ![]() Blair’s headbands are their own characters. Don’t bother guessing who it is yet, because trust me, the masterminds behind the show don’t know who it is yet either. Kristen Bell narrates as ‘Gossip Girl,’ and she will continue to narrate this mysterious Gossip Girl until the final season when the writers pick a name out of hat and award that random character the title of Gossip Girl. They blog about every character in the show and every character is super invested in this blog. As someone who has been with the privileged, white Upper East Siders since the beginning, as a reader of the original books, and as a 27 year old still using her dad’s netflix account, I feel well qualified for the task. In honor of the new Gossip Girl revival coming to HBO, I will be recapping every episode of Gossip Girl. ![]() The Equalizer - Season 1, Episode 7 || FULL EPISODES : Robyn McCall, an enigmatic former CIA operative with a mysterious background, uses her extensive skills to help those with nowhere else to turn.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |